Natalie is GRADUATED!!!!

I want to say a BIG congratulations to my awesome sister-in-law Natalie who graduated a YEAR early! I am so proud of you. I'm pretty lucky that you're my sister. 

Chesterfield.

On Monday James and I went out to Chesterfield, Idaho to help set up the Rugar Dugout. Memorial day out in Chesterfield is always a lot of fun. They have hamburgers and hot dogs, a raffle and of course tours of all the places and homes there. One of my favorite places to visit is the store there. They have old fashion soda's and old fashion candy! Yum, yum. (I'm a candy-crazy person.)

Speaking of old fashioned soda's this little gem in one you can buy there and it is the BEST ever. I love anything huckleberry but this soda is to die for. So if you ever see this brand or you're in Chesterfield then you should definitely buy it! You will no be disappointed. 

Of course we can't go to Chesterfield and NOT take a selfie right? And yes, you are seeing correctly the skies are grey and it did in fact rain on us. Not too much which was nice but it did rain.. and once we got home it sure started to pour ha ha! Oh well. 

Later that night the rain settled and it was a gorgeous beautiful night. I was so excited because we were finally able to sit on the porch together and enjoy! This is the one thing I like about summer. Other than that I am not a summer person ha ha. '

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It was nice to have this Monday to relax and hang out because the rest of the week is going to be super busy because we are getting ready to go on vacation! Which we both are so excited for. We have the opportunity to go down to Utah to watch James sister graduate! And the next day we will be flying out with everyone to go to Nauvoo. I'm so excited to see the grandparents again and to experience the special feelings Nauvoo has to offer. 

Oh Maggie!

Maggie has been SO clingy lately it's crazy. But I will admit I am enjoying every single minute of it. I love getting all these cuddles. It's a nice change, normally she is crazy and always want to lick my face and climb all over me. I prefer this so much more ha ha. But like I said, I am enjoying these moments. I love my Maggie girl!

This is Maggie being mad at me after I got mad at her for attacking me and not listening to me ha ha. She tends to pout if she doesn't get her way. Which I think is pretty darn cute. She's a little stinker! 

Last of all, Miss Maggie got herself a nice haircut! She looks so much better. Makes me happy. I believe she likes it too. I was SO excited because we were able to FINALLY get her nails clipped and she did so well. We are slowly making progress with her which makes me very happy.

Crock-pot Teriyaki Chicken

What you need:

3-4 Boneless, Skinless Chicken Breasts (Frozen OR Fresh)

1 tsp Garlic Powder

1 Chicken Bouillon Cube

1 tsp Kosher Salt

1/4 cups Brown Sugar

1/2 A Bottle Of Kikkoman Teriyaki Marinade & Sauce (enough to mostly cover chicken)

Prep Time: 10 minutes

Cook Time: 5 hours (FROZEN) 3 hours (FRESH)

In a crock-pot place 3-4 chicken breasts

Pour evenly over the top of chicken Kikkoman Teriyaki Marinade making sure each piece is covered.

Once chicken is covered put in all other ingredients

Stir making sure everything is missed well

Let cook for 2 hours and stir again making sure chicken is getting tender

Once chicken has cooked and is easy to shred or cut into cubes serve and enjoy

Missing In Action

Lately I have been MIA. And I have a reason behind it, although it is not a very good reasoning at all. I have been in this so called "funk" lately.. Also known as depression. I have found it hard lately to motivate myself to do much. I cant seem to get out of bed, shower, or even have the will to go and do activities (even grocery shopping) BUT, I have been making myself do those things even though it isn't easy. And I guess in a way I have also been on edge lately. Everything either is fine, annoying, makes me grumpy or makes me sad and cry. I don't entirely have a reason to be depressed, but in a way I do have a reason. My reasoning is a secret that I don't express. (I'm not even sure my husband fully knows how I am feeling.. don't get me wrong, he's here for me and he understands but I don't think he fully does.) I'm not sure I'm even ready now to express my feelings for they are heartbreaking to me. But I know that I need to do something whether it is writing this blog post or finally expressing my feelings I don't know. All I do know is I'm not feeling happy. (Yes I smile, laugh and "enjoy" things.. but it's not the same.) I just want out of this funk. I don't like this feeling. It's not me. I just want me back, where ever that may be. I guess by me writing this I'm using it as my journal in hopes that it will help me feel better and know what to do. I miss the feeling of being happy and feeling loved. (I know I'm loved, trust me. But I am just having a hard time feeling it, unfortunately.) Lately I can't fall asleep because I lie awake just wondering, nothing in particular just whatever pops into my mind. I feel sick, I don't feel like eating much (but sometimes all I want to do is pig out.) And part of me feels guilty for feeling this way, and for letting me affect me so poorly. Another part of me feels very guilty for letting it reflect in my life, my home and my appearance. And a big part of me just feels sad for letting it affect the way I feel about myself in general. I have those thoughts daily that I am not good enough or pretty enough. Yes I'm 23 and still get these thoughts. *sigh* Even when I get dressed, make up on and the whole deal, I just don't feel pretty enough. I guess the question is what don't I feel pretty enough for? Well for me. I get complements and they go in one ear and out the other. I wish I could believe them. But I can't, at least not right now. And that is what hurts. Is I've lost myself in this sadness and I don't feel like I can get out. I feel alone, even when I'm not. I'm surrounded by people who love me but I just don't feel it it and I feel completely alone. And no I'm not depressed because I live in the middle of no where or because I don't have friends here or because I don't have a "job" (which I do have a job, but apparently nobody sees it as one.) I'm depressed for a completely different reason. And this reason has made me sad for awhile. But it is getting worse, and sadly it is out of my control and in God's hands. And maybe that is what I need to realize, that it is not my fault and that it is out of my control. But that doesn't make it hurt any less, just so you know. And I know, trust me I know that someone else has it "worse" than me. But I once heard this saying and at times like these it helps me a lot. "Yes, someone somewhere does have it worse than you. But in all reality they don't have it worse than you. What's painful and worse for someone might be easy for someone else. We are all different and experience different and worse things." I guess I really shouldn't feel bad for feeling the way I do, but it's hard not to. Especially when I have the feeling like I'm being judged by people around me. Which most likely isn't true because who really has the time to judge us as much as we might think or feel we are being judged? I don't know, this is just how I feel lately and I feel like I shouldn't have these feelings so it makes me feel worse. I'm out of control. Well, I guess I don't have much more to say at this point in time. And I'm really not willing to talk much more about these feelings or why I'm feeling this way. At least not yet. Maybe later. And I'm sorry for this long and blah post about my feelings of depression. But then again no I'm not sorry, I'm not sorry for the way I feel. But I am thankful to you for reading, listening and being there for me through this tough time that I am going through. Thank you.

New Pool, Missionaries & Cotton Candy!

Last summer our pool got a hole in it and we couldn't find the hole anywhere.. so we had to throw it away. And if anyone has ever bought a you know they are freaking expensive! So when we "replaced" the pool we got it on sale for $8.99 ha ha.. and as you can tell the latter is not necessary at all ha ha.. but on a good news yes, James and I do both in fact fit in the pool at the same time! So for now, this pool will do and keep us cool doing the hot heat of the summer. 

On Sunday (Mothers Day) we were able to Skype with some wonderful missionaries. Brandon on the left is in the Philippines and he is doing wonderful. It was such a blessing to see his cute face and see how well he is really doing. On the right is the grandparents. And obviously they are also pretty darn cute. It is always such a fun time to Skype with them.  

If you know me at all then you know I have a great love for cotton candy. So OF course when I saw Dairy Queen had a cotton candy blizzard I got it. And needless to say, it was one of the best things ever! YUMMO! If you get the chance to try it and you love cotton candy I say yes please do give it a try! Mmm, mmm, good!

Anniversary Trip

On April, 27th (I know, I know.. I'm a "little" late..) James and I went to Pocatello to spend some time for our anniversary. *Back story!* For Christmas James' family gave us a gift certificate to stay at the Black Swan Inn which is a hotel that has themed rooms! And we decided to just save it for our anniversary! It was the best trip ever.. and the room was amazing! So I will stop writing here.. and let the pictures do the talking!

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New Kicks!

The hubs and I decided it was time to get some new kicks! Well, we had a good reasoning behind it. We're going on vacation the end of this month and we will probably be doing a lot of walking so it makes sense to get new shoes! ALSO there were a lot of deals going on.. buy one get one half off plus they were on sale too! Can't pass up a good deal. Right??

I got a new addition to my fairy garden! This little fairy needed something to hold onto but I had no idea on what it should be. But, the mr. found this at Shopko for me! Awe, he's so sweet. It looks awesome!

Can I just say, I am LOVING all these beautiful blossoms everywhere. Spring is my favorite seasons and for good reason! I love flowers so it's only fitting that I love Spring ha ha. There are so many colors with all these blossoms that I think my camera is starting to hate me. We have a lot hate relationship when it comes to this time of year ha ha. But what can I say.. I'm addicted to taking pictures of flowers. MY favorite thing of all time to take pictures of. Too bad there isn't a good business for taking pictures of flowers ha ha.

Anywho.. this blog post was just a little bit of everything because I feel like I need to blog more ha ha. Besides, by doing this you get to know me just a little bit more!